When you have survived emotional abuse, whether in childhood or in adult relationships, you yearn for someone to listen to your feelings and acknowledge your pain. Most of the times, we enter into abusive adult relationships out of a distorted view of what love is. We more than likely experienced some type of abuse in childhood and have grown to believe that that is all we are capable of attracting. We think we don’t deserve anything better. Of course, intellectually you know better. But deep seated beliefs and emotions left over from the past seem to control your current life.
Then comes a time when you’ve decided you’ve had enough. You want to have what you see others have, a happy life, free from abuse. So you make the choice to finally start believing in yourself enough to give yourself the best. And when you do that, something magical begins to happen. You begin attracting those that appreciate and love you for who you are. They love themselves enough to search out only the best as well. They find YOU!
Sometimes, even though you’ve started believing in yourself for once, you still need that extra emotional support for a while. Being a survivor myself, I have found the following to be the best ways another person can show you support. I found that person 12 years ago, my amazing husband.
Show You Believe in Them:
Let them know you believe in their abilities to conquer anything. Be enthusiastic when they present an idea or personal decision. Verbalize it, say “I believe in you.” This is something they are not accustomed to hearing. It means a great deal to hear those words.
Show Your Respect:
Let them know you 100% respect them in every way. That you respect their personal space, privacy, their views, your likes, dislikes. Having that kind of respect is of utmost importance to someone who has been used to having their rights violated by another.
Let them know that even though you may have disagreements or an argument here and there, you are there to stay, that your love is not dependent on whether you feel or think or do as they do. Reassure them that you’re on their side and willing to stick with you in your personal battles and help you fight them.
There are more ways than this, but these happen to be the ones I personally feel are most important. You may have different ones that are most important to you and if so, please feel free to share them. Nice to hear from different points of view and different ideas.
In the Positive Zone