Disadvantaged and Happy- a Choice

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It is true that a person who grew up in a positive environment with plenty of parental encouragement is at a certain amount of advantage than one who grew up in an abusive and neglectful household.  One was given all the love a child needs in order to grow into an emotionally healthy adult.  They were given the support and encouragement to reach their goals in life and succeed.  The other was void of these crucial things.  They were given very negative messages.  They were made to believe they weren’t worth anything in life and would never get anywhere.  They lacked that love children thrive on.

So you would naturally think that the disadvantaged one has every right to, as an adult, be angry and not expected to be able to succeed.

Truth is both are just as capable of succeeding.  No matter what disadvantaged circumstances you grew up with you have the capability of reaching your dreams.  In fact, plenty of people coming from those type of homes have gone on to excel and succeed in their chosen career or profession.  They use those painful emotions from the past to propel and motivate them to rise above.  They have experienced emotional and physical hardships which have helped them to become very strong willed people.

There is much difficulty for the one who grew up in a disadvantaged environment.  When they reach adulthood, they must learn how to get that what they lost in childhood from their own selves now.  They have to re-learn and re-program their thinking.  And let me tell you, that is not easy to do in the least, nor is it a quick process.  It takes an enormous amount of strength and courage to climb above it.  And even harder when there isn’t any mentors available.  They have to learn how to forgive and how to let go of something that was out of their control.  And learn how to trust.  Actually, I could go on and on with lots of things that have to be re-learned but I think you get the gist of what I’m saying.  But the one thing that never really truly goes away is the residual emotional pain.  Sure, it gets better with time and age, but the memories never leave.

Having said all that, this is not to say the disadvantaged one should receive special treatment, be excused from taking personal responsibility, or have the right to complain and blame everything and everybody for their problems.  They have what we all have, the ability to make choices in life.  Some people continue to make bad choices over and over and never really learn, others are more self aware and use those bad experiences as lessons to do better.

We all have the ability, as adults, to choose how we live.  And I don’t necessarily mean financially either.  What I mean is we all have the choice on how we want to lead our lives and how we want to feel.  I’ve known some really poor people that were the happiest I’ve ever been in the company of.  Why is that?  It’s all in the mindset and attitude about life.  Has nothing to do with having money or material things like a lot of us like to think.  Some of the wealthiest people out here are unhappy.  It’s a mindset.  It’s an attitude.  It’s your choice, always to think the way you want to feel.

In the Positive Zone

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